INTERNET-MAGICIAN by ASTRAL-EBONY

I am the Internet magician. Everything herein is the result of my on-going, and fluctuating moodswings. In other words, it is a place for my emotional rollercoaster rides. If something doesn't go right, then I start to feel very uncomfortable. I start getting very upset. I do not have one single friend, as society has always done the dirty on me. I lose concentration and trust in society very easily. I can wave a magic wand, and things here can either appear, or disappear. Some of you will have already experienced, and noticed that. It's a bit like the Steve Miller Band song, Abracadabra...I Want To Reach Out And Grab Ya. But whenever I try to chat people up, it seems to just fall apart at very first touch. I don't think a lot of people understand me. I do not have much confidence in the world right now. That is because everything is all messed up. People are far too messed up.

WHEN IT'S QUIET, IT'S LOUD AND NOISY.


Sunday 3 October 2010

Not Feeeling Too Good

Weekend was rotten.  I now have the start of a cold.  Must've caught it off someone.  So I've felt very secluded this last weekend.  On top of that, I've got to try and face the last session with SIRS.  I don't bloody well feel up to it.  There has been some good times, and some very bad times too.

The trouble is, I cannot make friends on my own.  What I mean is, that I can make friends under my own self-esteem, but I have to be in the right frame of mind.  No-one can wave a magic wand, and say..."Here you are, here are some friends".  I need proper guidance, from those that understand me in a very deep way.

It's not very easy for us lonely Aspies to make friends.  We often feel very intimidated by society, as well as isolated.  I find it very exhaustive trying to make friends with people.  And nobody around here in Oswestry seems to understand me.  They treat me as some kind of outcast, and then change their tune as quick as the weather.  I find Oswestry-folk such a bore, and a constant let-down.  I have absolutely no trust in them whatsoever.  And I never want to trust Oswestry-folk either.

No comments:

Post a Comment